With This Ring I Said I Do
by nikkilynn71
Summary: Sydney Tellers world just collapsed around her. Can their marriage come back from this? Does she even want it too?
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys this is my first story ever. I hope you guys enjoy. I own nothing at all except Sydney. The rest belongs to Kurt Sutter and Fx.

This should have been like any other day. Sydney Teller sat in her house in her favorite chair wrapped in the blanket her mother in law gifted her. Any other day she would have been tired from standing in her salon all day but today the exhaustion came from something else completely. Her world had been shattered and she had no way of knowing when or even if it would ever the the same. She thought about calling her sister or her mom but why bother. She could hear them now 'Sydney we told you not to marry him' 'He is just like what you were trying to escape'. Telling them was inevitably but right now that was the last thing she wanted to hear. She came to Charming, California 4 years ago with the hopes of making it all on her own. Her family was extremely close and while she loved them fiercely she needed to escape. She had finished beauty school and had quickly started her own salon as soon as she settled in the small town. Gemma Morrow had been her first and most loyal client. She had really made it her mission to spread the word about the new high end salon and it's talented owner. The pair quickly become close and it wasn't long before Gemma insisted on her coming to meet her family. Sydney wasn't naive in the least, coming from a family eerily similar to the Teller-Morrow clan, she did her best to ignore some of her other customers gossip. Her and Jax hit it off immediately but should that really surprise anyone. Jax was the kind of man that was everything you should run away from, rough around the edges but much to attractive to deny. He reminded her a lot of her grandfather and father, even his "profession" seemed to match up. He had been smitten with her too, or so she thought. The two quickly fell in love and married shortly thereafter. Sydney adapted well to the life of an old lady, she even had the Gemma seal of approval. She knew about the club extra curricular activity and she also knew what probably happened on the runs to Reno and various other cities. Sydney chose to ignore the last part maybe it was her insecurities that kept her from asking questions or the way she had been raised. If Jax did step out of their marriage, it had been far enough away from her everyday life that she could just ignore it. Everything was running smoothly until about a week ago, Sydney had boarded a plan headed to Las Angeles to attend a hair show.

_ "Jax come on I'm going to miss my_ _flight if you don't get up soon" Sydney_ _said as rushed around the room _throwing things into her carry on bag_. _

_ "Alright darlin I'm up I'm up"_

_ "You gonna miss me?"_

_ "Of course" Jax said as he wrapped his arms around his wife kissing her neck. "You sure you have to go to this thing?"_

_ "Yes I'm sure! Now quit trying to distract me and move it buddy!" Sydney said with a smile. _

Remembering that moment broke my heart even more then it already was. Our last good moment together would forever be carved into my memory. I returned home just yesterday to a empty house ,Jax was in Reno until tomorrow so I made plans to have dinner out with Gemma. As I was finishing up the finishing touches on my makeup I heard the doorbell ring. Almost immediately my stomach sank. I knew it wasn't Gemma because she always just let herself in and nobody else really makes it a habit of visiting the Teller household. I looked through the peephole and immediately recognized her. She was one of Luann's girls and someone I had bonded with the few times I was around her. I opened the door to her and immediately regretted it. I swear I could see it in her eyes. I'm not sure what it was maybe a mixture of guilt and fear. She came in and a dropped a bomb right in our living room. Her and Jax had slept together twice. Once a couple months ago at a party at the clubhouse and after vowing to never do it again somehow they ended up back in bed together just two days ago. She said the guilt was eating up at her and it was time to come clean. I was to shocked to think let alone speak. How could this happen? How could he do this? I knew what happened on runs and while I wasn't overly eager about it I had learned to deal. I never had to see those women or hear about it. This was different, this was at home. This was someone I knew. "Get out" were the only words I spoke to her. I couldn't believe it. It couldn't be true. I think I had myself convinced she was lying for a minute. That moment ended when I felt the bile easing up my throat. It was true Jax had cheated on me. He had been with another women, inside someone else. Now I had a face to put with those thoughts that threaten to arise about his fidelity. Gemma found me sobbing over the toilet. Assuming I was sick, I mumbled an apology and showed her out the door. I have sat in this chair since yesterday. The house phone has rang probably over a dozen times but I can't bring myself to answer it. I wouldn't be able to hide it, my voice would betray me. Gemma would tell me to stay and forgive. My mom would tell me to come home and never look back. I had enough noise in my own head as it is. I mean I can't just pack up and leave there are to many circumstances that prevent it from being an easy process. How could I stay here though. Stay in this town, look at her, look at him. I wonder what he is going to say? How he is going to justify it? If I stay, every time he goes on a run or to a clubhouse party I'll picture it in my heard. Is it strange that I imagine it? I try to put it together in my head. What happened what it was like those types of thing. I try to put myself in his position but I can't do. I can't imagine being with someone else. I don't even like to think about being intimate with the people I was long before Jax. That is how much I love him. I can't help but let out a laugh wow how things can change. I was so happy just 24 hours ago. I hear the roar of a motorcycle and realize my time of processing is over. I hastily wipe away the tears. I want to catch him off guard. I want him lie to my face. As I hear the front door open I steal one last glance across the room at the picture frame on the shelve 'Baby Teller'.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you guys so much for all the support! I really appreciate it. Please forgive any grammatical errors. I tried to catch them all but I am sure I didn't. Please continue to review, favorite and follow. Once again I own nothing at all but Sydney. Everything else is property of Kurt Sutter and FX**

"Sydney are you okay? Ma said you were sick?"

I had to bite down so hard on my tongue to stop from just screaming at the top of my lungs right then. How dare he even pretend to be concerned.

"Yeah I'm fine just the baby ya know. How was the trip?"

"Same ol shit. I missed you though" He says as he tries to greet me with a kiss

"Bullshit" I spat back at him

"Woah I'm going to assume you still don't feel well and leave it at that. I'm gonna hop in the shower"

I should have said something, anything at all. Instead I just sat there as I watched the man I love so much it hurts walk away thinking his secret was still buried.

I still said nothing even after he showered and announced he was going to bed. I think he thought I would follow and part of me wanted too. Maybe if I went with him, he would make me forget all the emotions I was feeling, maybe I could convince myself this was all a bad dream. My feet didn't move and my mouth wasn't producing any words. He shrugged it off as pregnancy hormones. Just like a man to completely negate my feelings and pass it off as some sort of female issue. Maybe one more night of process was what I needed. I needed to figure things out and I needed more time. As I settled into the chair I couldn't help but let the tears fall. Why was I such a coward?

I watch the time tick by. I didn't sleep a wink at all last night. I couldn't shut mind off long enough. I knew it was bad for the baby but it was like I was powerless. I snuck past him in the room and headed for the bathroom. I pulled my hair back and stared into the mirror. I didn't even recognize myself for minute. This wasn't supposed to be me. I didn't move over 2,000 miles away from my family only to become my mother. I had to confront him today, tomorrow was Monday and I had a salon to run. I heard him stirring and knew I was running out of time. I headed into the kitchen and put on some coffee for him. I needed him to be alert for all of this. He shuffled into the kitchen 15 minutes later and mumbled a good morning. He tried to kiss me but I successfully avoided that. 'Do it now Sydney...say something dammit'

"So what did you do while I was gone?" Finally words came pouring out of my mouth.

"Same things I always do Syd nothing new. How was the show?"

"Fine I got some new stuff for the salon." I choked out. "I was thinking I'll call Lyla and see if her and Taylor wanna come by and let me try some stuff out on them."

"You gonna do hair for porn now?"Jax asked teased. "Luann would love that." I thought for a second I saw a flicker of guilt flash across his face when I mentioned Taylor's name but just like that it was gone.

"Maybe. I've always liked them you know that. Speaking of Taylor she stopped by yesterday." I said trying to hide the venom in my voice.

"Oh yeah? What did she want?" He said as he put his cup in the dishwasher.

At this point I really don't know what's worse, the fact he cheated on me or the fact that it doesn't even seem to affect him. I can't hold it in anymore I feel like I am about to explode.

"She told me Jax. I know everything" There it is. I said it and there is no going back.

It feels like hours before he speaks.

"Sydney I.."

"No don't. I'm not interested in your excuses. Just tell me why?"

He looked down at his feet but said nothing.

"Why! Tell me why goddammit!"

"I don't know why Sydney. It just happened. It was a mistake. I have felt so damn bad about it."

"A mistake huh wow even I was expecting a better excuse from the almighty Jax Teller. You felt so bad about it that it happened twice?" I say as I move towards him.

"We are married! How could you? Huh? I'm pregnant for God sakes." I scream at him while the tears fall down my face.

"I'm sorry!"

"Your sorry? Don't bullshit me right now Jax I think you've done enough of that to last me a lifetime. You are only sorry you got caught."

"I love you Sydney I swear to God I do. I just made a mistake. This life was never supposed to be mine. Okay. I wasn't supposed to settle down and start a family. I just got scared I guess with the baby. How much I love you... It just scares me." Jax leads as he tries to grab my arm.

I push him with force I didn't even know I had. I can barely stand to look at him much less let him touch me.

"Don't touch me Jax ever! You gave up that right when you cheated on me twice. What do you expect me to do huh? Just forgive you? Act like Taylor didn't knock on our door and tell me everything. That none of this ever happened?"

"I know it's not gonna be overnight. Just let me prove it to you. We have a baby to think about."

"Don't you dare! I have done nothing but think about our baby Jax. And let me tell you something. I grew up in a house like that Jax and I'll be damned if our child does. I'm done listening to this. Get out!" I yell. The tears have stopped falling at this point. I can't handle this anymore.

"Please calm down Sydney."

"I will calm down just as soon as your gone. Come on Jax let's think about the baby." I sneer at him just daring him to try and continue this now.

"Okay I'll leave for now but we are gonna have to talk about it. This is not over Sydney. It can't be. I am not gonna give up on you and our family." He says as he retreats into the bedroom to gather his things.

I have to try and calm myself down for the sake of the baby. A few minutes later he shuffles back into the kitchen with his leather bag.

"I'm gonna see if I can stay at moms. Seems like a better idea then the clubhouse. "

I say nothing refusing to even look at him.

"I'll call you later maybe.."

"No when I'm ready to talk I'll let ya know" I interrupt.

" l love you Sydney please just say you know that."

"I used too Jax."

After I hear the motorcycle peel out of the driveway I let the tears fall again. Before I know it I'm in the living room holding the picture from our wedding day. If I could go back now would I take it all back? I find myself feeling jealous of the me that's in the picture. That perfect moment in time. Before I know what I've done the picture hits the wall and the glass shatters. As I let all the feelings wash over me, I realize I don't even know who I am without Jax anymore. God how did everything get so messed up.


	3. Chapter 3

**Thank you guys so so much. I would love to hear your ideas about the direction this story should go. Once again thanks so much for the positive feedback!**

I had to will myself to go to sleep last night. I tossed and turned for what seemed like eternity. My phone rang a couple of times. I lied to my mom telling her I was just under the weather and completely ignored the calls from Gemma and Jax. Why couldn't he just respect the fact I wasn't ready to talk to him. My salon was open for 6 days out of the week so I had no more time to mourn the possible loss of my marriage. I had left my business in the hands of my employes last week while I attended the hair show, I couldn't possibly take anymore time off now. 'Come on Sydney time to put your big girl panties on.' After showering and getting dressed, I walked into my destroyed living room. The release I felt last night while smashing ever last picture with Jax in it was short-lived. The only picture still in its frame was the ultrasound of our baby. Forcing myself to eat something proved in being a bigger task then I would care to admit but nonetheless I had a baby to think about. I feel like I am minutes away from a breakdown but I have to push through. 'You have to live your life Sydney nobody is gonna do it for you.' I could hear my sweet grandmothers voice clear as day in my head. Shaking off the bad thoughts that are threatening to enter, I grab my keys and head downtown.

"Sydney Rae Teller thank God your back. Last week this place was a madhouse!" exclaimed my stylist and best friend Stella. She continued to ramble on about how much Mrs. Grimes complained during her visit last week. I couldn't bring myself to listen. All I could focus on was my station, the framed picture of Jax and I holding the ultrasound. I had forced him to take the pictures. I guess pregnancy announcements are not things big bad bikers do. Funny a week ago I thought devoted husband and soon to the fathers didn't cheat either.

"I mean I should be getting therapist pay for the amount of baggage that woman brings to my chair! Sydney are you even listening to me?"

"What? Uh yeah of course I am." My voice sounds convincing but it's written all over my face. My mom always used to tell me that after I would lie to her about the previous night.

"What's wrong? What did he do?" Stella asked as she pulled me into a nearby room and shutting the door.

I am not sure if I should be relieved I have such a great best friend or insulted that she immediately thinks Jax did something.

"I'm fine really. I'm jut not myself lately I'm sure it's just pregnancy hormones."

"Don't bullshit me. We are supposed to be best friends."

I know I have to tell her and I know that I need to tell her. Saying it out loud though to someone else is very difficult for me. It's like it makes it real. I am starting to feel extremely overwhelmed by all the emotions I am feeling inside.

"Jax cheated on me." The words seem to stumble out of my mouth.

"Excuse me?" It almost seemed like she screamed it.

"Twice. With Taylor. You know who she is right?"

"What are you even saying right now?"

"I'm telling you what happened."

"Why do you seem so calm though? Please tell me that mother fucker is not still at your house?"

"No he left yesterday. I don't know Stel I guess I have just had a few days to process it. I'm kinda starting to feel numb."

"Why didn't you call me you know I would have came right over."

"Yeah I know. I just needed time. I mean when she came to my door." I started

"She came to your door?"

"Yes."

"Let me get this straight. Taylor porn star Taylor came to your front door walked into your house and announced she has slept with your husband TWICE."

"Yes. She said she felt guilty and had to confess."

"And you bought that shit? She is a real piece of work. They both are. Sydney go home. Why are you here?"

"I need to be here. I have to be here. This is my company and I need the distraction. Please don't fight me on this. I'll go crazy at home."

"Okay fine fine. I won't just because you have been through enough the past couple days. If you need to go home though you tell okay promise?"

"Yes I promise I'll be fine though."

"Yes you will be. You're a strong women Sydney and you are going to get through this and as the best friend you have ever had I am going to personally see to it."

"Thank you. Enough about that please I need an escape. What does the schedule look like today?"

"We are pretty full. I booked an appointment for Mrs. Robinson at her house around lunchtime. You gonna be okay here by yourself?"

"I will not be alone and yes I'll be fine."

"Okay I love you. Everything is going to be okay. I know it doesn't feel like it right now but it will be." She said as I opened the door. "What kind of ice cream do you want?"

"What?"

"What kind of ice cream should I bring when I come over tonight because I am coming over and I'll be staying until you kick me out and even then I probably won't leave."

"You really don't have too."

"Yes I do because we are sisters and sisters don't let sisters cry alone."

I know she is not going to let this go. I am really lucky to have her.

"Mint chocolate chip and as long as your brining do you think you can bring some cookies too?" I say with the first real smiled to grace my face in days. "The baby wants them."

"Right right the baby jeez mama bear you got it but only for the kid."

The day has went by extremely slow. After cleansing my station and the building of all things Jax, I got to work. It was really challenging to listen to people talk all day. Some people were complaining about their husbands and others were blissfully going on about their upcoming weddings. Stella announced she was leaving at about 12:45 and suddenly I felt claustrophobic. I didn't have another client for about 30 minutes. So for now it was sitting around. I needed to find something else to do to take up my time because my mind was threatening to take over. I pulled up the scheduler on the computer to see who was all coming in today. Mrs. Robinson was an elderly lady that could no longer drive herself. We always accommodated her to the best of our abilities. Always going out to her house to do her hair and having lunch with her. I scroll down through the appointments before I realize something's wrong. Mrs. Robinson's appointment isn't until tomorrow. Where in the world did Stella go? She must have just thought the appointment was today. She will be back soon. Right?

Stella's POV

I know I shouldn't have lied to her. She is obviously going to find out tomorrow when I have to leave to go actually do Mrs. Robinson's hair but I needed an excuse. I couldn't very well tell her I was going to have a word with Jax and then his little slut now could I? She wouldn't have let me go. She would have insisted I leave it alone. But I can't what kind of friend would I be if I did that? I am going to tell Jax Teller exactly what I think of him and I dare queen Gemma to get in my way. I was raised around here and SAMCRO and it's band of misfits doesn't scare me. I am so sick of Jax thinking his daddy issues and that cut he wears are an excuse to treat people the way he does. Sydney deserves better and if nobody else is going to say it I sure a hell will.


	4. Chapter 4

Aww thanks everybody for the awesome reviews! I am so glad people are liking this story. My avatar is what I picture Sydney to look like. I also have Danelle Ackles in mind for Stella. Also just a side note Tara and Donna do not exist in this story. Please continue to review!

As I pulled up into the lot I briefly thought about Opie. We have been seeing each other for a couple months on and off. We used to date in high school and have tried several times to make it work. I, however, am not exactly the submissive type. He is probably going to be so pissed that I am moments away from storming the clubhouse and tearing into his Vice President but he is going to just have to get over it.

"Hey Stella! Opie isn't here he is out on a repo." Said Rat the prospect as I slammed my door shut

"Shut up and make yourself useful, point me in the direction of Jax." I say and the prospect eyes widen.

"He is in the office with Gemma." He stutters out.

I don't even acknowledge him as I walk off.

As I walked towards the office realize Gemma doesn't even know what is going on.

"Jackson I don't understand this, I gave you a pass yesterday but now I want to know what's going on."

"Mom all you need to know is that I made a mistake. I am going to fix it I swear. I just need to stay at your place for a little while."

"You are not staying with me until you tell me what you did."

"He cheated on Sydney" I said as I stepped into the office door. "Twice."

"You did what?" said Gemma as

her eyes widened in shock.

"Mom it was a mistake. Look I am not having this conversation." Jax said as he tried to move towards the exit

"Actually that's exactly what you are going to do. Now sit down." I demand slamming the door.

"Stella cut the bullshit this has nothing to do with you."

"Like hell it doesn't. Sydney is my best friend and the best damn thing that ever happened to you and you just couldn't keep it in your damn pants could you? Your disgusting! I hope she divorces your sorry ass!"

"I don't have to listen to this. This is between me and Syd okay. I made a mistake but I am going to fix it. So you just stay the fuck out of it okay." He says as he pushes past me

"Jackson Teller I am only going to say this once so you better listen. I have never been disappointed in you until this moment. Sydney has stood by you through all the bullshit that has been thrown at her. She accepted the club and never once said anything about your commitment to it. She has made a great old lady and you shit on that. She might not ever forgive you and quite frankly I'm not sure you even deserve forgiveness but you better try to make this better for the sake of my grand baby you got me?" Gemma said in a firm voice as Jax just turned and walked out. He didn't look back as he sped off from the lot.

I realized in that moment that the love Gemma had for Sydney went far beyond just a daughter in law.

"I ask him last night what happened but he wouldn't answer. He wouldn't even get up this morning for work. He just rolled in about 5 minutes before you did. Shit this is bad. How is she holding up?"

"She is at work today but I don't think very well at all."

"She should be at home. Stress is not good for the baby."

"Yeah I know I told her to go home but she said she needed to be at work."

"I'm gonna swing by and see her."

"Yeah she needs all the support she can get. I have one more stop to make before I head back." I say as we walk towards the lot. "I gotta have a little word with Taylor Reynolds."

"Oh you've gotta be fucking kidding? That's who he dicked around with? Well look no further she is in the clubhouse with Lyla."

"Great one less trip. Thanks Gem."

As I walked into the clubhouse I immediately spot her at the bar laughing with juice. ' oh yeah she is just really beating her self up over this whole thing'

Her eyes get big as she sees me approaching

"Juice can you excuse us." She says as she starts to fidget.

"No juicey why don't you stay. It's really a great story. You see Taylor here is not only a slutty homewrecker in her little movies, she apparently likes to take her work home with her. The only problem is you fucked the wrong person." I say as all the eyes on the clubhouse turn to us. I know I am probably going to get in trouble for doing this so publicly but all I care about right now is making her pay.

"Stella I never meant for anybody to get hurt.

"Sydney might have bought that shit the other night about you just feeling oh so guilt but make no mistake little girl I can smell bullshit a mile away. You are so fucking jealous of her. You wanted what was hers and after you had it and Jax was out of town you couldn't wait to rub it in. Showing up at her house is low even low for a cum guzzling slut like you."

"Don't you dare try to act like you know how I feel. I feel terrible. I have always like Sydney. I made mistake."

" Your damn right you made a mistake you both did." I say as I walk towards her "The fact that."

"Stella what's going on here?" Opie's voice booms through the clubhouse.

"I am about to teach Taylor here the error of her ways." I say never taking my eyes off her.

"I don't understand what's going on."

"Don't act like you don't know." I scoff.

"I really have no clue what your talking about but the clubhouse is no place to handle your girl drama."

"Don't condescend me Harry Winston. Your asshole of a bff Jax fucked this two bit whore twice and Taylor was so very guilt ridden about it she went to Sydney's house to come clean"

Opie looked legitimately surprised.

"Okay I get your upset but can we at least talk about this privately. I'm sure Sydney doesn't want this played out in front of everyone."

"Your right Op." I say with a sigh as I stalk towards Taylor "I'm fact we shouldn't be talking about this at all." I slam her face into the bar before anyone can stop me. "Every time I see you I will make regret every setting foot in this fucking town." I whisper in her ear as the blood runs down her face.

"Goddammit Stella." Opie grumbles as he throws me over his shoulder and stalks towards the door. "Clean her up and get her out of here." He orders back at Juice.

Sydney POV

I hear the door jingle as someone comes through, assuming it's my next client I tell them I will be right there.

"It's me baby." I turn the corner to see Gemma standing in the lobby.

"Gemma I really can't do this right now." I say as tears threaten to fall from my eyes.

"I am not here to say anything I just wanted to check on you."

"I'm holding up okay. I have a client coming in any minute now. Can I just call you later or something."

"Okay Sydney but baby listen to me I will not let you shut me out okay. I am not going to pressure to forgive Jax okay. I love you like a daughter and I know my son is a complete dick. I'm so sorry that this happened. As a mother of course I want you guys to be able to work this out but as a old lady I understand that might not be possible. I want you to know we are still family though no matter what."

I needed that more then I had realized. I needed her to understand my point of view. Never in a million years did I think she would. I don't even realize it but before I know it I am falling into her arms. We cry together for a minute before Stella walks through the door.

"Before you say anything Sydney just know I am pretty sure I broke her nose so your welcome."

"Stella please tell me you didn't."

"Oh yeah she did. Damn I should have went in with you."

" I would have done more then that but Opie carried me out all caveman style. Now let me in on this hugging you two got going on."

She was clearly very proud of herself and I have to say so was I. Looking at her and Gemma, I realized that maybe just maybe I would find a way to be okay again someday.


	5. Chapter 5

Hello again! I appreciate all the reviews/favorites/follows. I hope you guys enjoy this. Sorry for any errors I can only do this on my phone right now.

I has successfully avoided all of Jax's calls for almost a week now. It was hard when I had down time to fight the urge to answer but between the salon, Stella and Gemma those times were far and few between. I didn't have the desire to talk to him really, I think I just wanted to hear if he had came up with a better excuse. I was glad to have Gemma on my side through all this as surprising as it was she really was the force behind Jax not just showing up where he pleased.

As I locked the door to my salon to head home ,where I knew Stella would be waiting, I heard the not so distant sound of a motorcycle. I had to will myself to turn around and found myself letting out a breath I didn't know I has been holding. 'Opie'

"Hey Syd."

"Stella's already back at my place Op." I know that's not why he is here but a girl can hope right?

"Yeah okay. That's not really why I am here."

"Well okay then why are you here?" Once again I find myself asking questions I already know the answer to.

"I know this isn't my place and Stella is gonna have my ass for this but Jax is my brother and I just felt like you maybe needed to hear it from me. He loves you Sydney. He fucked up and he knows that."

"Listen Opie, I get it okay Jax is your friend and you feel like you need to defend him just like Stella did me. The difference is I wasn't in the wrong here, Jax was. He is the one the that caused all of this."

"He knows he fucked up, hell everybody does. Im not asking you to work it out I just want you guys to talk."

"Rest assured Opie, we will obviously have to talk." I say as I gesture towards my stomach. "But I just need time. I think I at least deserve that."

"Okay I'm sorry to throw this at you like this."

"It's okay I understand your just being a friend. Speaking of I know you haven't seen much of Stella lately. I'm sorry about that."

"Nah don't be sorry. She wouldn't have it any other way. She wants to be there for you."

"Yeah she is a great friend and so are you. I'll tell her to give you a call. I don't need a 24 hour babysitter. I'll be fine."

" you need anything though I'll be there." He said as he slung his long leg over his bike.

"I know. Thanks Opie." I smile at him as he rides away. Maybe he is right. Maybe I should just call Jax. I mean should I really put off the inevitable any longer?

Stella is my very best friend in the whole world and I love that I can depend on her to just always be there for me. However, she has been at my house for a week now every single hour. We work together during the day and then she is at my house at night. We do things totally different from each other and have almost no of the same interest. As I walk into my house I am reminded of just how different we really are.

"Good lord Stella your bursting

my babies ear drums with this shit." I say as I turn the music.

"Hey it was almost to the good part!" She protested.

"I don't think there is a good part, it's all just screaming."

"God your so lame. Bring Me The Horizon is awesome!

"Right. I saw Opie just a little bit ago."

"Oh God being Jax's little errand boy no doubt."

"Just wants me to call Jax I guess."

"Don't worry he won't be bothering you about it again. I'll call him right now."

"Oh yeah defiantly call him but not for that. Stella you have completely abandoned your life to be there for me. And while I appreciate, I can't let you destroy what you and Opie have."

"This isn't going to destroy anything. We couldn't get our shit together long before this you know that."

"Do you ever think it's just time for y'all to settle down."

I think she pondered that for a minute before she simply answered

"Yeah I do think about it but then I remember how fucked up it is for the people that have settled down. Shits just not for me,"

We didn't talk about anything other dinner and what to watch on tv for the rest of the night.

As I sat in my bed later, I must have scrolled to Jax's name in my contacts a dozen times. I needed to get this over with I reasoned as I pushed the send button.

Ring ring

"Sydney?"

"Yeah."

"It's good to hear your voice darlin."

"Jax let's not do that okay. I am only calling because we need to talk."

"Okay I'm listening. I'm just real happy to hear from you. I'm so sorry. I haven't been able to sleep without. I fucked up bad."

"I don't want to have this conversation over the phone I just wanted to talk about a time we would meet up."

"Do you want me to come over?"

"No Stella's here and we need privacy. What about tomorrow? Around noon?"

"Yeah sounds great baby."

"K I'll meet you at your moms."

"You don't want me to just come to you?"

"No I want to be end the conversation when I want to."

"Okay Syd whatever you want. I love you."

"Goodbye Jax."

I knew what I had to do. I love Jax so much that it physically hurts my heart. I never thought he would betray me so openly like that. I have never been so devastated and disrespected in my life. I heard once you can tell how good a man is by the smile on the women's face next to him. That is complete bullshit. I was so naive. I raved and raved about Jax. What a great man and husband he was. I always had a smile on my face. If only I had known. I guess he got his wish to be like his daddy. Maybe not in the club aspect but he certainly was a cheater. I never thought I would be in the situation I watched my mother be in. I always promised myself I wouldn't. They eventually worked everything out but I'll never forget all those times I wished they wouldn't. I know growing up in a broken family is hard but sometimes broken is how it should stay. I couldn't allows child to grow up in a house full of bitterness. Sure there were good times but you can never enjoy those fully when your waiting for the other show to drop. I had made up my mind. Tomorrow I would just have to tell Jax.


End file.
